Sicker Then A Dog

Saturday started out okay… Actually more then ok. I woke up just after 10 am, and had a fairly good morning. After eating a lunch at Carl’s Jr. my mother and I headed off for Portland to go to the Spring Beer and Wine Festival. Getting to the Convention Center was far easier then we thought it would be, since neither of us really enjoy driving in Portland. When we got there we only had to wait in line for a few minutes, and we were in. In fact this was shaping up to be an awesome day.

We circled the first set booths we saw upon entering, tasting almost every beer, but only a few actually were memorable. One of them was a rye Widmer brought, but it’s only available at Widmer, not elsewhere (so disappointing).  Another beer we enjoyed was Old Chub from Oskar Blues Brewery. After making an initial run we decided to try some spirits before headed over to the area where 10 Barrels was located. We tried some amazing vodkas, and some vodkas that were nothing more then hard versions of alco pops. We also swung by the Rogue Spirits booth and I got to ask John Couchot about whether and when their new Dead Guy Ale that’s Aged in Dead Guy whiskey barrels would be available. He said it would be, no date though. He also said it wouldn’t be available in bottles. Too bad.

After we finished the spirits we had to feed the meter so we took a break for a bit. After we got back in we buzzed straight for 10 Barrel since I really wanted to try their beer. I wasn’t disappointed with their summer ale. It was my favorite for the style. We finished the breweries in that section and tasted some cheeses and wines. Actually I tried two wines and had my fill of them for the day. I still don’t get what people enjoy about it. My mom on the other hand enjoyed them. We tried a Merlot that was supposed to be award winning…. It was the worst thing we tried all day.

By this time we were hungry so we went to hit the ATM for some food money. When we got up to the ATM there was a line, and seeing another marked on the map of the place we went off in search of another one. This was a bad idea. Turns out the second ATM isn’t there apparently so we spent forever walking around trying to find it. After we got back in we both grabbed a bite. My mom wanted shrimp, but thinking I was smarter I went for the lamb. I just didn’t trust the look of the shrimp. This was another bad move on my part, but I’ll explain in a sec.

After we ate we continued tasting, trying to nail down the rest of the breweries before we had to go. We made it through most of them fine, but about hallway through the last section I was to the point where I could barely swallow the tasters. At first we were both blaming it on the beer. My mom had decided to stop drinking so she could drive, and that way I could enjoy the last few, and she was certain I was drunk. Problem is I felt sober. It was so bad in fact that I asked for half tasters and even then dumped most of those out, causing a passing man to exclaim I was committing a beer violation. We had about five breweries left to hit when I called it quits. I wasn’t even able to focus by this point and can barely remember the last several breweries.

I managed to walk to the car well enough and upon arriving to said car I proceeded to throw up all the beers I’d tried, and 80% of my gyro. I put my seat back and managed to sleep most of the way to Keizer. We had just gotten to within three blocks of home when I proceeded to throw up again, all over myself. I was so weak I couldn’t even sit up, let alone lean out the door. This resulted in the car smelling like puke, and my mom exclaiming how drunk I was. Once again though I knew I wasn’t drunk. After all I’d only taken sips of my last several beers. I hadn’t even drank that much. I got home, showered, had some soda crackers and all of the sudden my stomach settled, my strength returned, and I felt at 80%. I then proceeded to wolf down a insane amount of pan fried noodles and some pepper chicken from John’s since the last meal I’d eaten was all over a Portland side street and the inside of the car.

The final conclusion we reached was that I got severe food poisoning from the gyro. What a nightmare end to a great Saturday. Lesson learned though. I will never again eat fast food gyros. Just the thought makes me ill.

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One Response to “Sicker Then A Dog”

  1. Carlos says:

    Dude!!! Chunks!!!!!! is all I can say 🙂

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