Things Beer Geeks Like

from theweeklybrew

There’s just so much in beer culture to make fun of, so, inspired by another blog, I decided to set aside one day a week to mock our craft.

Brewery Tours


Inexplicably beer geeks are gaga for brewery tours. Many of them don’t seem to realize that large or small most breweries function the same and to a degree look the same. Yet beer geeks still line up like cattle for the slaughter to hear about how the brewer only uses quality ingredients, how a mash tun works, and how yeast turn sugars into alcohol. They stand there nodding while sipping beers, and occasionally ask silly questions that the brewer probably hears every tour. They speak to each other in hushed tones when the brewer describes his/her equipment. 

Also, beer geeks seem to enjoy rubbing whole hops between their hands and smelling them while on tours. They know (because the brewer told them) that this is how you release the lupulin in order to get a wiff. Many of them though have no clue what their smelling for. As long as it smells like hops they get giddy. I once watched a beer geek do this with hops that had to have been sitting out awhile. He rubbed them between his hands, and praised the quality. Without even rubbing the hops I could smell that these weren’t stored properly and were therefore useless for the kind of beers this brewery made. 

After the tour many beer geeks obediently step up to the bar and order tasting trays, intent on sampling every beer that brewery makes. often times beer geeks will buy tshirts to show their loyalty to the brewery and a growler of their favorite beer to drink when they get home. Once they get home they usually put the growler with their growing collection and put their tshirt with the ones from the other 20 breweries they have visited, and are therefore loyal too.

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3 Responses to “Things Beer Geeks Like”

  1. Dr Wort says:

    I always thought most Beer Geeks went on Brewery tours to talk with the brewers and then acquire those free tasting samples? ;-}

    Of course, if you are a beer geek looking for a Brewery Tour and samples, you may need to hunt for them in Portland. Some breweries DO NOT give tours which is unheard of! Others offer limited times and will provide you with a PR schmuck for a tour guide, who has memorized the basics of beer production (which could be read on a pub napkin!) and the knowledge ends there. One such large old Portland brewery offers this type of tour and doesn’t even provide beer sampling at the end of the tour! The Wort Crew once brought 12 true Beer Geeks on a tour of this brewery… It was rather embarrassing.

    Some local breweries will provide wonderful tours, but they are few and far between. Full Sail’s tour is one of the memorable we’ve been on.

  2. jrbox says:

    ‘Mr. Jimmy’ [aka, Jimmy Collins] and I joined the ‘Rogue’s Hop Yard Tour’ at the farm in Independence. I had telephoned Denise [503-347-8288] to reserve our place.

    Dustin, a Rouge employee, conducted the tour which included three massive buildings housing the processing:
    – hops picker
    – hops kiln
    – hops bailer / cooler
    Hops were present at each station; the machinery was idle.

    Perhaps a dozen people were on the tour; including several home brewers. Process descriptions and some historic / botanical factoids were given. Questions were answered. Dustin was a competent tour guide / Rogue representative.

    Three varieties of hops were present:
    – Cascade
    – Centennial
    – Sterling

    A $10 fee included a nice sandwich box lunch. Beer samples [from 5 bombers] were offered before and after the tour.

    We thoroughly enjoyed the tour. I recommend it.

    We were allow to pick strobiles from the bine; I do not know if you could collect enough for a fresh hop brewing. Further, we walked by 15 foot high heaps of two varieties of dried hops in the bailing area; I do not know if you could fill your backpack.

  3. jrbox says:

    btw, next Monday is the last, current scheduled, tour.

    Rogue Ale’s website states: ‘Tours will take place every Monday in August.’

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